Have you ever seen one of these quotes …
… and immediately thought to yourself “I need some hardcore discipline because otherwise, I fall into procrastination and laziness all day long! I need to stop going so easy on myself otherwise I’ll never achieve success!” and then you proceeded to crack the whip on yourself and add some extra torture to that already existing self-hate?
How long did it last before you quit?
Whatever it is it just seems like you’re not able to sustain it. You may be thinking “Maybe I should push myself harder, maybe I’m not hard enough on myself, maybe I need a trainer who won’t let me slack off.” and you end up in the same rut over and over again.
Do you know why that is?
because you’re dragging a ball and chain!
Take it from somebody who’s been cracking whips on herself for 10 years and got nowhere. There’s is actually a valid reason why you can’t push yourself past these boundaries.
Ever heard of an emotional blockage?
Emotional blockage consists of barriers that keep us from thinking creatively in order to achieve our goals. For example, some people may have an easy time in the workplace, are friendly and familiar, but when it comes to romantic life, they have emotional blockage that doesn’t allow them to move forward.
The society we live in expects each and every one of us to be healthy and ready to achieve success, ignoring all the emotional baggage we might have. Even our damn parents don’t give a s**t about it. This teaches us to ignore all emotional inputs we’re getting. And oh do we get a lot of them!
Lets cut to the chase, what’s the solution for success here?
Cut the weight off.
We as human beings are naturally driven to explore, to have fun activities, to do creative work or exciting challenges. This is all things you’re born with and you don’t ever lose them. What happens is you get chained and tied up with weights that basically kill off your energy.
To be perfectly clear, what’s stopping you is not a hole that you need to fill, not a dark void that can’t be satisfied, you weren’t born lazy and it’s also not everybody else’s fault.
That’s why it’s called a blockage. Blockages can be removed.
Successful individuals never take any action until the resistance to that action has been resolved.-Teal Swan
So how does one remove these blockages?
This is where you need to put in the real hard work. Removing blockages is time consuming and intensive. Don’t expect this process to be anywhere near the word easy. If you ever decide to crack the whip on yourself, this is it right here, my friend!
There are thousands of techniques and methods out there but let me just mention a few here:
- Face your fears
- Some meditation practices
- Parts work
- Exercise personal boundaries
- Find a non-toxic community that accepts you and you mesh well with and …
- Psychologists and Therapists
Do this exercise with yourself right now. Ask yourself:
– What do I want to achieve?
– Who am I doing this for?
– What am I most afraid of?
– What do I want to get from this?
– What am I missing out on if I don’t do it?
The reality is that we’ve been conditioned to believe that we must be hard on ourselves, that we need to treat ourselves harshly to achieve anything in life as if we’re fighting against an enemy.
This is a horrible lie that has bled over from religion. We’ve gotten so used to thinking of ourselves as unworthy sinners that now we pass that destructive teaching onto our kids, unconsciously.
Do me a favour and don’t fall for it. Self-hate is a plague, not a blessing.
Self-hate is a very generalized thing we’re sinking into but probably the most common issue that pops up is fear. Notice how I placed “Face your fears” at the very top of the list? It’s a big one.
We fear everything from losing money on a bad investment to disappointing our parents to meeting that extroverted neighbor you’ll have to socialize with if you choose to leave the house today. Fears are our most numerous blockages and sometimes they mask themselves with hate, apathy, depression, unhealthy altruism (aka self-sacrificing) and many more.
The ability to dissolve your fears will determine how well you’re able to adapt and thrive through adversity.
Chances are, the very thing we’re trying to run away from the most is what’s holding us back from our success and the life we want to live.-Aria
So stop trying to drag an anvil and push a car when all you want to do is to get across the street.
Discard the weight first and fulfil your goals second.